My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
