Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
