Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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