Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
