I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
dude. I can hear the air.
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