Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
