You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
