Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
