That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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