Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
