Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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