Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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