Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.