Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (636): Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date. http://tfl.nu/58hu
  Replies (19) Good night (1965) Bad night (1486)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (209): I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store. (859): Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks. http://tfl.nu/01yd
  Replies (24) Good night (1029) Bad night (3336)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers http://tfl.nu/mh21
  Replies (8) Good night (862) Bad night (3857)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note. http://tfl.nu/4rpl
  Replies (47) Good night (14178) Bad night (1455)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name. http://tfl.nu/imhe
  Replies (63) Good night (6819) Bad night (2207)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (501): First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come. http://tfl.nu/qjzy
  Replies (11) Good night (3528) Bad night (1287)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions. http://tfl.nu/bksd
  Replies (14) Good night (964) Bad night (3912)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (902): we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids... http://tfl.nu/udrg
  Replies (2) Good night (1936) Bad night (1130)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look http://tfl.nu/7aaf
  Replies (14) Good night (4309) Bad night (1057)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats http://tfl.nu/kxcv
  Replies (2) Good night (1545) Bad night (655)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.

  (205): View more from Alabama

  But happy liver failure. That's what counts.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure. (205): But happy liver failure. That's what counts. http://tfl.nu/m2wy
  Replies (3) Good night (1593) Bad night (716)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (989): walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too. http://tfl.nu/do4j
  Replies (15) Good night (3131) Bad night (618)
• Favorite

  (369): View more from California

  Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (369): Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night? http://tfl.nu/oh80
  Replies (7) Good night (761) Bad night (1109)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  The cops raided her house the day before class even started

  (1-917): View more from New York City

  Those assholes are becoming so efficient

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): The cops raided her house the day before class even started (1-917): Those assholes are becoming so efficient http://tfl.nu/vbsh
  Replies (4) Good night (1162) Bad night (575)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  hey the jello shots wont freeze

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  How much Everclear did you put in them?

  (512): View more from Texas

  uhhh all of it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): hey the jello shots wont freeze (1-512): How much Everclear did you put in them? (512): uhhh all of it http://tfl.nu/x77r
  Replies (5) Good night (1657) Bad night (417)

Randomize