I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
