The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...