My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?