i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
