So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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