worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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