it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize