Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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