I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I am naked and annoyed.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
