are you so shy because you have an std?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
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