i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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