11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Can you bring me the toilet please
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize