I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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