she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
My breasts were aching with rage.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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