Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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