i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
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The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
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We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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