i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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