If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize