your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
