Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Shame - the story of my life.
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