You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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