it wasn't lemon gatorade
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
