He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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