I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
