You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
