It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
