wat bout pragnant strippers??
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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