Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
