Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
barbara walters just said penis...
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize