i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
