im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Randomize