Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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