he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
