it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
