They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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