Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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