You smell like stripper and shame
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
