we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
