im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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