Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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