I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
My breasts were aching with rage.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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