Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize