what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
