if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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