Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
