During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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