Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
